Myths about sexual violence and abuse

There are lots of myths about rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse and other types of sexual violence that cause serious harm. At Rape Crisis, we work to shatter these myths, and help victims and survivors get the support they need and deserve.

Myths about rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse and other forms of sexual violence hold a lot of power in our society.

And that's dangerous because these myths do serious harm. They can cause victims and survivors to feel shame or to blame themselves for what happened, and make it difficult for them to talk about or get help.

These myths can also affect how victims and survivors are treated by services and organisations that should be there to help them – and even by their own family and friends.

At Rape Crisis, myth-busting is an important part of the work we do.

So, let’s take a look at some of the most common myths about rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse and other types of sexual violence, and do some separating of fact from fiction.

MYTH #1: Women who drink or take drugs deserve it if they get raped.

Fact: No one is ever to blame for being raped or sexually assaulted – it doesn't matter what the circumstances were. Raping or sexually assaulting someone is always a crime and 100% of the blame, shame and responsibility for that crime lies with the perpetrator or perpetrators.

MYTH #2: Women lie about being raped because they want attention or revenge – or regret having had sex with someone.

Fact: False allegations of rape are extremely rare. In fact, most people who are raped or experience another form of sexual violence never tell the police.

MYTH #3: If she didn’t scream, try to run away or fight back then it wasn't rape.

Fact: It’s really common for people who experience rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse or other types of sexual violence to find they can’t move or speak. This is one of our bodies’ automatic responses to fear and is designed to keep us safe.

It's also one of the reasons why lots of people don't have visible injuries after experiencing rape or another form of sexual violence.

MYTH #4: If she didn’t say ‘no’ then it wasn't rape.

Fact: Not saying ‘no’ is not the same as someone giving their consent. If someone seems unsure, stays quiet, moves away or doesn’t respond, they are not agreeing to sexual activity.

MYTH #5: It’s not rape if it's your wife or girlfriend.

Fact: Rape is always rape. If someone wants to take part in any kind of sexual activity with another person then they must get their consent. Every. Single. Time. It doesn’t matter if they’ve been married to the other person for 50 years – if the other person doesn’t consent, it’s rape. And it's illegal.